How to motivate your child to practice

Motivating your child to practice consistently can be a struggle.

I’ve been teaching music for over 25 years and I’ve learned a lot both from my students as well as from my 7 children as to what works and what doesn’t.

I know that the word “practicing” can have a heavy feeling associated with it, especially for children.

The great news is that there are lots of easy things you can do that will create the internal drive and motivation within your child to want to practice.

#1 - Tap into your child’s interests

This one is golden!

About a week ago, my son needed to practice the piano.

He was playing with his stuffed animals and I said to myself “I know what this is going to look like if I pull these stuffed animals away and tell him he needs to practice.”

The transition wasn’t going to be smooth.

Instead, we took those stuffed animals right along with us and created the stuffed animals as the motivator for our practice!

Easing the transition between another activity and practicing can help bring through the positive emotions associated with play and encourage your child to associate those same feelings with learning the violin.

The same strategies work for older children, too, we just have to dig a little deeper to find out what they’re interested in and brainstorm how we can incorporate that into the practice time as well.

The key is to understand your child’s interests and their source of creativity so you can discover how to incorporate that into their practice and improve their motivation to keep going and keep coming back for more.

You can do this by using the whiteboard technique

Take a small plain whiteboard (I use one from the dollar store) and draw a horizontal line across the middle of it.

On the top, write down the activities they need to practice that are a bit more work and that they maybe aren’t looking forward to.

Then, on the bottom, have children choose activities that they’re excited about!

These could include activities like giving mom a hug, go getting a drink, or aspects of their practice that they really enjoy like note-reading.

Then, alternate back and forth between the tasks that are more challenging for them and those that are a bit easier.

As they accomplish something, erase it off the white board so they can see their list being completed and have that extra sense of accomplishment.

When we feel like we’re progressing, we’re motivated!

Having a detailed, structured plan allows your child to see what has to be done which lowers their feelings of being overwhelmed.

When my children start to lose motivation or interest it’s because I’ve not given them an end-point of what they’re working towards.

If you give them that goal post and the steps they need to reach it, you’ll see their motivation return.

#2 - Acknowledge and reward progress

Rainier, our search as rescue dog for my son Robbie, taught me one of the most valuable lessons about motivation and practice.

My son Robbie has Down Syndrome and likes to run, so Ranier is with us to stay connected to Robbie and help keep him safe.

I remember a training session in the beginning where I was with Ranier in the mall and it was not going well at all!

He just kept getting distracted, I was giving him treats, but it just wasn’t working. It was so frustrating because Ranier had spent months being trained by a professional, so why wasn’t he listening to me!?

I reached out to the trainer and she so wisely and carefully said “Melodie, you need to reward sooner and more often.”

It made perfect sense!
I implemented it right away, gave clear instruction and immediate positive feedback and BOOM!

That dog was by my side, focused on me, listening and ready to go!

This immediately had me thinking about how we practice with our children.

Do we give frequent, fast, empowering feedback when they’re practicing the violin?

Don’t forget to ask them, too!

Say to your child “Wow, I’m so impressed that you just did that! How did that sound to you? How do you feel?”

Now their positive feelings are coming from both inside and outside - it’s a win-win situation!

Success brings success!

#3 - Bring your A-game as the parent

How we show up influences our child.

The energy and emotions you bring when you tell your child it’s time to practice is crucial!

Think about it.

If you just finished doing the dishes, cleaning up the house and starting a load of laundry, and you approach practicing just like any other chore around the house - your child will pick up on that, too.

Absolutely, your life is busy and sometimes practicing will be another thing on your already massive to-do list.

But if you take a few deep breaths, reconnect to why your child is learning the violin and reaffirm what kind of presence you want to bring to your child’s practice session, everything will change.

Just as Dr. Suzuki talks about planting the seed and allowing your child to grow, we can do that for our children too by choosing how we show up.

We can create an environment where they feel safe, where they can make progress, and give them the grace and patience that I know you want to show them.

Yes, it may be a little bit challenging for you to do because your life is so busy.

But taking those slow, deep, intentional breaths and reconnecting to why you’re doing this can make all the difference.